Photo by Jerry Kiesewetter on Unsplash
These days, it certainly seems impossible to have a healthy debate, or even offer up your own opinion about anything beyond what you’d like for dinner without backlash. Certainly in the past six+ years, we’ve seen an abrupt bigger shift toward daily outrage and aggravation, particularly concerning U.S. politics and social justice movements.
Meaningful civil discourse and dialogue in our contentious times can certainly be challenging, but it is not impossible. (We are hopeful!) When diving into a difficult discussion with X and Y, about Z and Q, we’ve got some suggestions here to (hopefully!) promote a productive exchange of ideas.
Listen actively. When you concentrate on what the other person is saying without interrupting or thinking of a response, you’ll better understand their perspective and show respect for their opinions.
Stay calm. Emotions can quickly escalate in a contentious discussion, making it essential to stay calm and avoid personal attacks. Keep your conversation focused on the topic at hand, and avoid attacking the person with whom you’re speaking.
Be respectful. Everyone’s got a right to their opinion, even if you disagree. Avoid belittling or using insulting language, and treat others with kindness and respect.
Seek common ground. Look for areas of agreement to build upon. This simple shift can help you find a starting point for constructive dialogue.
Be open-minded. Be willing to consider how the other person developed their perspective so you can see how to address it more productively.
Use evidence and reason, yet tell personal stories. Of course support your arguments with facts, yet realize that it's truly personal connections that make people more likely to listen and try to understand another perspective. If you explain to them how something—an idea, an issue, a policy, a law—affects you or what it means to your life, they can start to relate more.
Practice empathy. Try to understand other perspectives and how your partners in conversation actually feel about the issue. This builds empathy and creates a more positive environment for dialogue.
These suggestions can help keep your discourse and conversations civil in a contentious world. And by promoting constructive dialogue and searching for common ground, we can make the respectful sharing of ideas the norm again. And isn’t that the kind of world we’re hoping for?
Resources to explore:
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